So I was doing bicep curls with a giant watermelon to really feel the pump, and Michael Bay phoned me and asked me if I wanted to be in his next movie, and I was like "No! Michael Bay, I don't want to be in your silly movie, I have to prepare for my inevitable ascendancy as President of the Universe in 2012 (vote for me if you want to live). Stop phoning me! EEYYARRGGH™!!" And then I asked him: "So what's your next movie gonna be about?"
Michael Bay said: "It's about good robots and evil robots and clones of robots from the future who use the Earth as their battleground, and only a bunch of misfit human rebels can save the day. And there's gonna be lots of car chases and explosions. I think you'll really like it."
I didn't even slam the phone down in disgust. I crushed it in my hand, and then I was reminded of that time in my super-smash-hit movie at the box office True Lies when I smashed the window of my car and said to Tom Arnold "GIMME THE GOD DAMN PAGE™!!!"
HIS MOVIE?! MICHAEL BAY'S MOVIE?! Good robots, evil robots, clones from the future, a war of highly conceptualized proportions, car chases, explosions, humans who save the day... THAT SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF MY MOVIES!! EEYYAARRGGGHHHHH™!!!!!!
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